The Lost Crossover Stories Collection
by Sonata-Time-Nocturne-Aoi
Summary: Complete! A collection of comedy crossover stories that were published and lost over time, or have never seen the light of day. Now, witness the earliest stories our team of writers has ever written, dating back to 2001! Rated T for language, and violence.
1. Introduction

**Story** : The Lost Crossover Stories Collection  
 **Author** : June 25, 2016  
 **Genre** : Humor/Parody  
 **Rating** : T (Violence, Language)  
 **Disclaimer** : I own the creative adolescent ridiculousness these series (which I do not own).

* * *

 **This is a collection of fanfics written during my early years on this site. Many of these one-shot crack-fics were either removed for violating ToS, or were never published due to lack of quality. These are now being retrieved from my archives and finally put on display after all these years.**

 **The Legend of Super Saiyan Legaia  
** (Legend of Legaia x Dragon Ball Z)  
Originally Published On May 5th, 2001

 **The Legend of Super Saiyan Legaia 2  
** (Legend of Legaia x Dragon Quest VIII x Dragon Ball Z)  
Originally Published On June 14th, 2001

 **The Lara Croft, Mr. Bison, and Indiana Jones Show  
** (Tomb Raider x Street Fighter x Indiana Jones)  
Written On March 15th, 2003  
Never Before Released

 **The Legend of the 8th Dragoon Fantasy Ultimate  
** (Final Fantasy VIII x Legend of Dragoon)  
Written On March 28th, 2003  
Never Before Released

 **Streets of Rage Meets Golden Axe  
** (Streets of Rage x Golden Axe)  
Written On November 27th, 2005  
Never Before Released

* * *

 **Please proceed to the next chapter for the first story:** **The Legend of Super Saiyan Legaia** **!**


	2. The Legend of Super Saiyan Legaia

**The Legend of Super Saiyan Legaia**

* * *

Noa, Gala, and Vahn enter a battle against their arch-enemy, Songi.

"Ha ha ha! You stupid idiots can never defeat me!" boasts Songi.

"Vahn, what's a 'stupid idiot?" asks Noa.

"Ask Gala," Vahn responds.

"Hey! You DID see my comedy act back at Sol Tower, didn't you?" Gala responds in shock.

"If you three are finished babbling nonsense, I'll kick your butts now," Songi laughs.

"Oh yeah? Eat this! TORNADO FLAME!" Vahn proclaims, as he and his team each perform their signature move, only inflicting one damage upon Songi.

"Ha! You three are pathetic. HYPER LIGHTNING!" Songi proclaims, unleashing an attack that blew our three heroes into another dimension.

* * *

"Ugh… Where are we?" Vahn asks, getting up off of the ground, dazed from the attack.

"It looks like some rocky desert canyon of some sort," responds Gala, pointing out the landscape.

"Vahn, are we gonna die out here?" Noa asks with a gulp.

"Not if those weird looking people flying toward us don't kill us. Look!" Vahn points out, as two buffed up men with a gold aura around them land in front of them.

"Hi there, I'm Goku, and this is my partner Vegeta! What are you guys doing out here in such a barren place like this? It's dangerous!" Goku greets Vahn and his allies.

"Maybe they are Majin Buu's spies out to reveal our secret training area. I say we destroy them," Vegeta says smugly.

"W-w-WAIT! We're not here to cause trouble, we need to get back to where we came from and defeat our arch-enemy Songi," Gala proclaims in a panic.

"Yeah, he kicked our butts really good too," Noa adds.

"Looks like you guys need some fighting tips from a couple of experts like us! Show us your fighting moves," Goku says to them.

"All right," Vahn responds, raising his 'Spirit Bar', and delivers a combo on Goku, which of course doesn't faze him.

"I see the problem! You're not receiving enough energy when you power up. Here, eat this," Goku says, handing Vahn a Sensu Bean, which Vahn hesitantly eats. "Now try your attack again."

Vahn raises his 'Spirit Bar', but this time, the bar explodes and Vahn begins glowing in a bright gold aura.

"M-my power has increased 1000-fold!" Vahn says in awe, evening his newfound power.

"Go ahead and use your new powers on something!" Goku tells him.

Vahn turns to Vegeta and starts to levitate in the air. Vahn then charges to Vegeta and starts kicking his butt, leaving Vegeta unconscious.

"Well, how do you like it?" Goku asks Vahn.

"This is great! My teammates need these Sensu Beans as well if we are to beat Songi back in our dimension!" Vahn says to Goku.

Goku nods and gives a small bag of the beans to Vahn and his team.

"Thanks Goku! We'll never forget you," Vahn says, as he and his now powered-up team use their powers to create a magic portal back to their world.

* * *

Sometimes later, they arrive back in their world, and confront Songi once more.

"So, you three fools are back to get some more pain I see. Mwuahahahahah!" Songi laughs in arrogance.

"We'll see about that. POWER UP!" Vahn commands his team.

All three heroes summon all their energy and transform into Super Saiyans.

"Songi: WHAT?! HOW CAN THIS BE? HOW DID YOU GET SO POWERFUL SO QUICKLY?!" Songi yells in shock.

"Oh, we had a little help from special someone," Vahn responds.

"Well, uhh… can we uh…reschedule this fight for some other time?" Songi asks in horror.

"Nope," Vahn responds smugly. "KAAAAAAAA…"

"MEEEEEEEEEE…" Gala adds.

"HAAAAAAAAA…" Noo continues.

"MEEEEEEEEEEE…" Vahn states.

"Oh my shit," Songi says in a wimpy girly voice.

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" all three heroes proclaim, unleashing a huge beam of energy onto Songi, turning their tables and blasting him into another dimension.

* * *

Later, Songi lands in a sinister looking realm.

"Where am I?" Songi asks, gulping as he look around at a hellish landscape around him.

"Well well well, brother, looks like we'll be eating human tonight," says Diablo, a monstrous figure from hell.

"I get the legs!" Mephisto, one of Diablo's allies responds while licking its lips.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Songi yells in horror as he is soon assaulted by the otherworldly demons.

* * *

 **Please review and keep watch for the next story:** **The Legend of Super Saiyan Legaia 2** **, as this collection is constantly updated until its completion!**


	3. The Legend of Super Saiyan Legaia 2

**The Legend of Super Saiyan Legaia 2**

* * *

Hero, Yangus, Jessica, Angelo, and King Trode were taking a peaceful walk along Farbury's countryside.

"Ah, what a lovely morning. No more threat of Dhoulmagus, I'm back to my human self, the land is free from evil, everything's back to normal," says King Trode.

Out of nowhere, Dhoulmagus flies in and lands in front of them.

"That's what you think, King Dolt!" Dhoulmagus says to the king in a taunting manner.

"Dhoulmagus? I thought we already took care of you?" Jessica responds.

"Guess again, you fools. After my defeat, and young man named Songi rescued me from the other world and gave me new powers beyond your imagination!" Dhoulmagus explains.

"Hey, guv, let's take care of this clown and be on our way. I'm in the mood for a drink at the local tavern," Yangus says to the Hero and his allies.

"And start another bar fight again like you did back in Simpleton?" Angelo replies.

"Hey, it's not my fault you were cheating people out of their…" Yangus began to retort.

"Silence! Prepare to die! Muahaha!" Dhoulmagus laughs as he begins shooting dark energy at the group.

"Well, I'll leave this up to you guys, see you around!" King Trode says in a hurry as he tries to run off, but runs into another group of kids. "H-hey, watch where you're going! Who do you think you are?"

"I'm Noa! Who are you?" asks the girl with pink hair.

"Noa, now's not the time to be greeting every single human, tree, or cloud you see. We must find a way back to our own world, after all Vahn got us lost in the first place," said the burly monk known as Gala.

Just then, a large explosion is heard, and Yangus and Hero land on the ground in front of the Legaia group, charred and smoking.

"What the… I've never known Dhoulmagus to be this strong. None of our attacks are working!" Yangus says, coughing from being blasted.

"Did you raise your spirit bar?" Gala suggests.

"Spirit bar? You mean our Tension Gauge? Yeah, but it ain't working good enough," Yangus replies.

"Vahn, Gala, we should help them!" Noa suggests.

"Oh no you don't! Songi told me about you brats. I'm going to make sure you guys aren't coming back from where I'm going to send you! DARK HYPER LIGHTNING CANNON!" Dhoulmagus proclaims, as he disintegrates everyone within the beam of highly concentrated dark energy.

* * *

Sometime later, everyone wakes up in an unknown world

"W-what happened…" Jessica groans as she and both parties all wake up from being blown up.

"Ow, my head…" says the Hero.

"Man that's hurts," Vahn follows up.

Both parties look at the respective heroes in shock

"Hero… he can talk!?" Angelo sputters in shock.

"W-whoa! So Vahn can speak outside of battle!" Gala responds with surprise.

"Well, that's fine and all, but where the heck are we?" King Trode questions.

"Don't know. Looks like some sort of weird snakelike path," Yangus observes.

Suddenly, everyone could see two people flying towards them.

"Noa Hey look! It's Goku and Vegisama, the guy we beat up last time!" Noa shouts, pointing out the two men as they approach.

"Vegisama? What the hell?" Vegeta proclaims.

"Relax. She's only kidding!" Goku tells Vegeta before turing to the others. "Hey Vahn Gala, and Noa! What's up? Fighting evil with your improved powers?" he asks.

"Yeah, but now we've seem to run into a bit of a problem," Gala tells Goku.

"Yeah, our arch foe Dhoulmagus fried us with his amazing new powers. So, uh, where are we exactly?" Hero asks.

"You're on Snakeway. It's a place you go to when you…die," Goku responds.

"What? This can't be happening! I can't die just yet!" Angelo responds in shock.

"Dead? Waaaaaah!" Noa cries out.

"Whoa, hold on, everyone. I know a way for you all to return to earth!" Goku tries to tell everyone.

"O' really? You hear that, Guv?" Yangus responds.

"Sure! But first, we need to work on your power-up techniques. So power up and show me what you got!" Goku instructs everyone.

The Dragon Quest VIII gang uses their tension until it's maxed to 100, with everyone's hair turning bright gold. They all then attack Goku, and do a moderate amount of damage.

"Heey, not bad, but I think you can do even better!" Goku tells everyone.

"Does that mean you'll give us more Sensu beans?" Gala asks.

"Hmph, wimps like you can't handle Sensu beans," Vegeta responds.

"Then how come last time we kicked your butt, Vegisama?" Noa replies with a smile, much to Vegeta's frustrating glare back at her.

"Sorry guys, I'm out of Sensu beans. I used them up while me and Vegeta was fighting Freeza," Goku responds.

"You guys were fighting a freezer?" Noa asks.

"No you stupid girl! Freeza is the most ruthless villain of the DBZ universe," Vegeta shouts at her.

"So what do we us this time?" Vahn inquires.

"I'll show you all how to do the Spirit Bomb attack!" Goku responds.

"Spirit bomb? Sounds like something I did in the ye olde toilet this morning," King Trode says.

"Thanks...for sharing that…" Angelo groans.

"Do you think we could use it?" Hero asks.

"Sure, It's easy! Just gather your thoughts and call upon the help of the universe's energy. Then once you've done that, release it on the enemy," Goku instructs.

"Wouldn't that cause a lot of damage to the surrounded area?" Gala asks.

"Yeah…that's why you should do it in a desolate area," Goku responds.

"Like our Ra-Seru doesn't already do enough damage to the world," Gala whispers to Vahn.

"Okay everyone, there's not much time. Here's what you do!" Goku tells everyone.

And so, Goku taught them all they needed to know about the Spirit Bomb attack. During the session, Vegeta got his ass owned once again for no apparent reason. Afterwards, everyone was wished back to Farbury by use of the Dragon's Balls...I meant Dragonballs…

* * *

"Muahahaha! Back again for more?" taunts Dhoulmagus as both teams approach him once more.

"You can't win this time! We've got the ultimate tush-pushing move ever!" King Trode states.

"And we're gonna help!" Noa adds.

"Prepare to die, you damn jester!" Angelo states.

Suddenly, everyone begins calling forth the energy of the universe, from the stars, from the living creatures, from the nuclear power plant that Homer Simpson works at, everything. They soon had a concentrated ball of destructive power*

"W-w-what! This can't be happening! You humans aren't supposed to get this strong!" Dhoulmagus yells like a little girl.

Before they shot the blast, Noa saw a butterfly flutter past her, so she left the group to chase after it.

"Noa! What are you doing? We need you to help hurl this Spirit Bomb at Dhoulmagus or else it'll—" Gala shouts at his team mate.

Because Noa left, the Spirit Bomb became unstable and blew up both parties, Dhoulmagus, as well as half of Farbury to kingdom come. When everyone awoke, they were all back on Snake Way*

"W—what happened?" Jessica asks.

"Seems like we got blown up once again," King Trode responds.

"No thanks to Noa!" Vahn says angrily to her.

Noa gives everyone an innocent, yet cheesy smile.

"Damn. Now I'm gonna miss Frasier," Dhoulmagus grumbles under his breath.

* * *

 **Please review and keep watch for the next story:** **The Lara Croft, Mr. Bison, and Indiana Jones Show , as this collection is constantly updated until its completion!**


	4. The Lara, Bison, and Jones Show

**The Lara Croft, Mr. Bison, and Indiana Jones Show**

(Lara Croft has come back from an expedition retrieving the rarest of all relics. She decides to relax at her mansion with a nice hot shower. But to her demise, someone else wants it also. She deiced to take a nice hot and relaxing shower. Suddenly, M. Bison appears out of nowhere and pulls open the curtains of her shower.)

M. Bison: Lara Croft, I am Master Bison, the Ultimate Street Fighter on this planet! Hand over that Incan artifact now, or pay the price!

Lara Croft: Why do you need MY relic, exactly?

M. Bison: I, the leader of Shadowloo, am collecting several priceless items so that I may use them to rule the world!

Lara: That's nice. Now, if you don't mind, I'm in the middle of a bath, so buzz off.

(Lara tosses a bar of soap at Bison, knocking him upside his face, and then it falls to the floor)

Bison: You'll pay for that! ENERGY FIST!

(Bison steps forward to blast a beam of energy at Lara, but slips on the bar of soap on the floor, falling flat on his face)

Lara: Nice fall, but I'd give it a '3' for bad finish.

Bison: (Getting up from off the ground) Why you… SCISSOR KICK!

(Bison jumps toward Lara about to kick her. Just before he makes contact, Lara turns around and squirts her bottle of shampoo in his face, causing Bison to miss and fall face first in the toilet)

Lara: Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. You shouldn't be looking at naked women in the first place, you dirty little man.

Bison: (Wiping the toilet water out of his face and getting up again) IMPERTINENT FOOL! THAT ITEM WILL BE MINE! PSYCHO CRUSHER ATTACK!

(This time, Bison covers himself in his Psycho powers, and then flies towards Lara. Acting quickly, Lara turns around and kicks Bison straight in the face. This sends him flying backwards out the window. He falls from the 23-story building, landing on the streets concrete. The next thing you hear is the sound of a city bus then crashing into Bison on the road)

Lara: (Looking out the window) Good, that'll hold him off for a while. Guess I have a new power-crazed archenemy now.

(Lara gets out of the shower, dries off, then grabs the phone and dials for her butler)

Lara: Hello, Williams?

Lara's Butler Williams: Yes, Miss Croft?

Lara: Start up my car and grab my artifact. I'm going on a little trip.

Williams: My pleasure.

(Meanwhile outside on the street, Bison is in custody of a Police Officer on the scene)

Bison: Get these cuffs off of me now!

Police Officer: Fat chance. You're coming with me.

Bison: What in the hell did I do?

Police Officer: You endangered the safety of the drivers on this highway buy causing a bus to collide with you. How you survived the fall is beyond me.

Bison: But a nude woman kicked me out of the window of that building!

Police Officer: Yeah right. You'll see her again in six months.

Bison: Do you even know who I am? I'm Master Bison, the leader of Shadowloo!

Police Officer: And I'm Jay Leno. Now get your big chinned ass in the car, fool.

Bison: Grrr... I'm gonna kill that woman!

* * *

(Indiana has just finished teaching his World Studies class at his College)

Scene: Indy's Class

Date: September 30, 1942

Time: 2:30 p.m.

(Indy's class has just left when a tall gentlemen in a large trench coat walks into his room)

Man: Mr. Jones?

Indy: Yes, that's me. Who are you?

(The man pulls out a police badge and flashes it in Indy's face)

Man: Sir, you are under arrest for the theft of the Ancient Incan Artifact.

Indy: (Getting up from his chair) Theft? What are you talking about? I didn't steal anything!

Man: Oh yes you did, you were the last one to leave the New York Museum of Priceless Items last night.

Indy: No I wasn't! Some woman in a tight black outfit with long dark hair was still in there just as I was leaving.

Man: Then how come the security guard didn't report anything about this?

Indy: Look, I don't know. Maybe the Nazi's took it or something!

Man: Enough of your excuses. You have the right to remain silent…

Indy: I don't believe this….

(Meanwhile, a couple of eavesdroppers are listening on the two men's conversation)

Nazi # 1: Pssst, did you hear that? Jones stole what our leader, Krutez Von Leaderson was out to steal.

Nazi # 2: Who would have though that Jones was a criminal!

Nazi # 1: Maybe we can get him to join our side and have him steal valuable stuff for us!

Nazi # 2: Sounds far-fetched, but it might work. Let's go!

Oh dear! Mr. Jones, the women magnet, the adventurer, the teacher, a THIEF?! How did this happen, and who was this mysterious woman he described from the Museum? Find out soon!

* * *

Lara and her Butler arrive at the English Airport

Lara: It's about time. Can you drive any slower, Williams?

Williams: Sorry, Miss croft, but I was trying to go the speed limit. Oh, before I forget, how where you able to retrieve that item in the first place? Wasn't it destroyed from a break-in back in 1950?

Lara: It was simple, really. Using my prized 'Time Shifter' relic, I can temporarily go back in time and grab what I need in a split second. I almost failed though when I nearly ran into a guy wearing a brown leather jacket with a bullwhip.

Williams: Interesting. Do you think he'll be charged with theft?

Lara: Maybe, but what are the chances he'll ever meet me in person?

(Lara laughs as she steps out of the car)

* * *

Bison sits heatedly in his Psycho-proof jail cell figuring out what to do next. A few minutes later, the Warden walks to his door.

Warden: Mr. Bison, you have visitors.

(Sagat, Vega, and Balrog enter the scene)

Bison: It's about time you guys came here to bail me out.

Sagat: Boss, what happened?

Bison: It was the damn Lara Croft, that's what happened.

Vega: So, I'm guessing you didn't get that artifact?

Bison: (Sarcastic) No, dumbass. I just let her keep it. OF COURSE I DON'T HAVE IT!

Sagat: What's our next move?

Bison: To find Lara, and force her to tell us how she was able to get that item in the first place. She must have used some sort of time machine.

Balrog: But time machines don't exist…do they?

Bison: It must do. Three unidentified people destroyed that item back in the past. Now if you don't mind, GET ME OUTTA HERE BEFORE I REPOSES YOUR SHADOWLOO PAY CHECKS!

Vega: All right all right!

(Vega uses his claw to pick the lock open to Bison's Cell)

Bison: (Stepping out) Good, now let's go.

 _ **Note: This was all that was ever written of this story.**_

* * *

 **Please review and keep watch for the next story:** **The Legend of the 8th Dragoon Fantasy Ultimate,** **as this collection is constantly updated until its completion!**


	5. The Legend of the 8th Dragoon Fantasy

**The Legend of the 8th Dragoon Fantasy Ultimate**

* * *

 *****Monday, 8:35 am, Outside Balamb Garden*****

The morning sun shimmered over the school's courtyard as seven unfamiliar and strangely dressed people walked up the stairs towards the main entrance. As they stepped inside the main doors of the Garden, almost every student they passed stopped and stared at them. A little uncomfortable of the new atmosphere, the new recruits hurried along the main path until they reaches the elevator to Cid's Office. One young man, wearing red plated armor, hesitated before stepping in.

"Guy's, I can't help but think that something isn't right here."

"What are you talking about?" says one of the guys wearing a royal green outfit with a long cape. "You remember, that we were here to get interviewed for positions here at Balamb Garden today."

"I…guess… but doesn't this seem a little odd to anyone? I mean, I don't even remember anyone saying anything about jobs, nor have I even heard of this place…all these weird shiny machines and oddly dressed people…"

"You worry too much", a cute young girl of the group says as he cuddled up next to him.

Everyone else simply shrugged his or her shoulders as the elevator doors closed.

* * *

 *****Monday, 8:41 am, Headmaster Cid's Office*****

"Dear, the seven applicants are ready to see you", says Matron over the intercom.

"Bring them inside, dear", replies Cid.

Cid quickly skimmed over the applications once more to make sure he knows the newcomers names. After taking a few sips from his coffee mug, the doors flew open, with an exceptionally large man leading the party into his office.

"Um…everyone have a seat, he says literally quite surprised, as the applicants flopped down in their chairs, except for the big one. "Uh, you could just probably stay standing, sir", he says motioned toward the giant.

"Hmph", he rumbled, almost making Cid fall on his bottom.

"Um, yeah…anyway, welcome everyone to Balamb Garden. I'm your boss, Mr. Cid Kramer, and I am glad to have set of new faces apply here at one of the best Military Academy's in the world. Now before I get on with the questions, please indicate you are here when I call your names. Alright, Mr. John Smith?"

"…"

"No John Smith? Okay, then, is there a Ms. Mary Johnson here?

"…"

"Wow…uh, a Mr. Tom Jones here?

"…"

"Ok, people, this isn't getting us anywhere. Why don't we just have each of you give me your names? Let's start with you, in the red outfit."

The young man slowly stood up and cleared his throat.

"My name is Dart", the red armored hero says bravely. "And these are my friends: Shana, Albert, Rose, Meru, Miranda, Haschel, and Kongol."

Kongol grunted again, making the whole room shake. Cid held onto his desk to keep balance.

"Is that so? Your names don't match the ones on the applications. But no matter, I'll just assign your duties right now."

"You mean you're not even going to do a background check?", says Albert.

"Have you done anything illegal lately?"

"Uhh…no"

"Okay then. Now…Miss Miranda…you'll be teaching the students alongside Instructor Trepe during first period."

"Yuck. Kids make me puke", hissed Miranda.

"Next, Mr. …Albert…you'll be in charge of our library.

"Yes! I get a job surrounded by the histories of Soa! I'm so happy!" beamed Albert. Everyone else simply backed away from him.

"Uh…yeah," says Cid. "Mr. Haschel, and Mr. Kongol, you two will be in charge of maintaining the Training Center."

"Sounds good, sonny. I could use a bit more training practicing my Rogue technique", says Hacshel, who begin doing some punches and kicks, which a few almost hits Cid in the face.

"I says maintain the Training Center, not destroy it."

Kongol chuckled, which surprisingly didn't faze the room, nor Cid.

"Next, Miss Shana, you'll be with Dr. Kadowaki in the Infirmary.

"Okay, she says quietly.

"Miss Rose, you'll be the detention teacher. You'll be also working with Seifer, Raijin, and Fujin. They make the Disciplinary Committee."

"Ha! Figures Rose would get a bad position", piped Meru.

"As for you, Miss Meru, you'll be working with the Cafeteria Ladies."

"WHAT?!"

"Ha ha, Meru's a lunch lady!," everyone says laughing.

"What's my position, sir?" asks Dart.

"Ah, yes, Mr. Dart. I have a special job for you", says Cid.

* * *

 *****Monday, 9:05 am, Entrance To The Training Center*****

Squall and Zell emerge from the Training Center. Squall looked perfectly fine, but Zell was severally injured, looking like he went through a giant paper shredder three-times over.

"Nice training session, Zell. It was very amusing," Squall says with a lot of sarcasm.

"Shut-up Mr. Whatever. How was I supposed to know that T-Rexes are smart enough to surround their enemies in groups of ten?"

"Well, you would have been killed if it wasn't for my Renzokuken special, and my abundant supply of Cure magic".

"Just don't tell anyone about this, will you?"

"Whatever."

Squall went on ahead of Zell and headed for his dorm room. Zell started walking toward the Infirmary, but was confronted by Haschel and Kongol.

"Who are you guys?", Zell questions the old man and his towering pal.

"Where the new Training Center maintenance crew, says Haschel.

"Cool! 'Bout time those Shumi freaks got replaced."

"And I see you need more Training, young man."

"Um…that's okay…I was just on my way…", stuttered Zell, who didn't want to go back

in with those T-Rex's.

"No, no, I insist. That way you can show us around this place. The Rogue School Master always told me: 'Never give up'."

"Rogue… What the heck is that?"

At that moment, Kongol picks up Zell with one hand, and starts dragging him back into the Training Center.

"H-hey! Let go of me! I don't wanna go back in there! NOOOOOOOOO!

Zell's voice trails off as they enter through the gates.

* * *

 *****Monday, 9:15 am, Squall's Room*****

From the high endurance exercise from earlier, Squall was ready to take a short nap before class started. AS he opened the door to his room, he saw someone sitting on his bed, who was apparently waiting for him. This made him a little unhappy, for this guy didn't ask his permission to come in.

"Who are you, and what are you doing in my room?"

"Whoop's, my fault. My name is Dart. Uh, is your name Squall?"

"Yeah. What do you want?"

"Headmaster Cid has appointed me to accompany you when you go on future missions."

"Whatever", Squall says un-enthusiastically. "Just what I need, another shadow following me wherever I go. Zell is already bad enough, even though he's entertaining."

Squall turned around and started down the hallway.

"H-hey! Where are you going?", yells Dart as he steps out of Squall's room.

"To take care of some business", he says without turning to look back.

* * *

 *****Monday, 9:33 am, Detention Room*****

Seifer, Fujin, and Raijin, the Disciplinary Committee, were kicked back in their chairs discussing the day's agenda.

"Alright, guys. Today our goal is to stop 15 students and drag them here in detention. Don't hesitate to penalize them for the tiniest rule they break. Any questions?"

"Yeah, I heard there's a new Detention teacher, ya know?"

"So what? We'll show this Shumi whose boss", replies Seifer.

"AFFIRMATIVE", says Rujin.

Suddenly the doors open, and here steps in a stunning looking black-haired woman, who simply stared at the trio.

"Who's this broad?", asks Seifer.

"I don't know, ya know. Maybe she's a new student", says Raijin.

"I'm Rose, the new Detention Teacher. You three will obey my orders, and everything will be fine."

"BROAD", Fujin says to the uptight woman.

"Oh shut-up you Martha Stewart reject", Rose replies.

Fujin had her mouth open in shock of being compared to a bad home and garden guru. Raijun started laughing his head off but was soon shut-up when she kicked him in the shin.

"Let's go, guys. We'll deal with her later", says Seifer as the team walked out of the room, ready to patrol the Garden.

* * *

 *****Monday, 9:50 am, Quistis's Classroom*****

Instructor Quistis was sitting down at her desk when Miranda slammed the door open to the classroom. She wasn't to amused that she was going to be around a group of misbehaved and mischievous kids all day…. so she thought. Quistis stood up and greeted the new assistant.

"Ah, Ms. Miranda. I'm Ms….

"Yeah, whatever. Just tell me what I'm gonna help teach", Miranda says un-enthusiastically.

"Oh god, not another 'Squall'", she says to herself. "Well, Ms. Miranda, you are going to help me teach today's lesson on 'The History of Hyne".

"Sounds boring", Miranda says as she picking up a book and leafed through it.

At that moment, the bell rang. Class was about to start as the students walked in and began taking their seats. As usual, the Trepies (Quistis's fan club) huddled together and talked gossip on how they love her.

"Well, lets get started. I assume you've studied this subject at your local College", Quistis says as she sat back down in her seat.

"Yeah right", Miranda says rolling her eyes.

"Good morning class", Quistis addressed her class. Today we have someone new that's going to be with us for a while. This is Ms. Miranda. She'll be teaching along side with me for a while. So please behave and do what she instructs you to do."

Before she could get a chance to let Miranda say something to the class, Headmaster Cid's voice came on through the intercom.

"Quistis, please come up to my office immediately. That is all."

"Oh shoot. I'll be right back, Miranda. Can you handle the class until I get back?

"Fine", she says taking Quistis's seat as the Instructor left the room.

The class stared at the new assistant for a while as Miranda glared back at them. After a minute of silence, someone in the back row raised his hand.

"Uh, Ms. Assistant, what are we going to do today?

"Today we're doing SSR."

"You mean Silent Sustained Reading?", the boy asks.

"No, SSR as in Sit Down, Shut up, and Read", Miranda snapped at the kid.

The whole class cringed. They knew it was going to be a long day with the new girl.

* * *

 *****Monday, 10:07 am, Main Hallway*****

Quistis was hurrying on to the Headmaster's Office, when she spotted Zell barely crawling out of the hallway from the Training Center. She ran up to see what was up.

"Zell, what's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me? You mean what the hell is wrong with those two new Training Center Coordinators! That Haschel and Kongol made me show them how to manually feed a Grat, when it almost ate me whole! I'm going to the Infirmary.

Suddenly, out through the doors came Haschel and Kongol.

"Hey, wait up! We need you to show us how to brush the teeth of a T-Rex", yells Haschel as he ran up toward Zell holding a tiny toothbrush.

"Aaack! Get the frickin hell away from me!", Zell yells as he quickly sprinted off to the Nurse, ignoring his injuries.

Quistis simply shrugged and continued on down the hall.

* * *

 *****Monday, 10:15 am, The Cafeteria*****

The Lunch ladies were hard at work preparing the Garden's food for the lunch hour. Meru was curiously looking through all sorts of food preparing equipment.

"Hey, what are these? Do you eat them?", she questions as she picked up two wooden sticks.

"Uh…miss, those are chopsticks", says Lunch lady #1.

Meru bit into them and swallowed hard.

"Needs salt", she commented"

The Lunch ladies just put their hands over their faces and shook their heads.

"Look, little girl, the Hot Dogs aren't going to cook themselves. Heat up the pot of water and put it on the stove, will ya hon?", says Lunch lady #2.

"Okey dokie!", she says as she grabbed a pot and walked over to the sink with two switches. One faucet read water, the other read gasoline.

"Ooooh, I don't know how to read human writings! I'll just turn this one on", she says with frustration as she began filling up the pot with Gasoline and set it on the fire burner and dumped in the frozen hot dogs.

"Did you get it all together?", asks Lunch lady #1.

"Yeah, I think so", Meru replies.

"Good, now help us with the shipment of crème pies outside in the service truck."

The three left swiftly to the outside to start unloading.

* * *

 *****Monday, 10:20 am, Enter Seifer, Rajin, and Fujin*****

The Disciplinary Committee stepped into the cafeteria hoping to sneak a little snack before lunchtime.

"Hmph, we haven't found anyone to send to detention yet", says Seifer as he and the other two walked up to the lunch counter.

"Looks like that Rose chick will have nothing to do all day, ya know?", says Rajin.

"GOOD", exclaimed Fujin.

Seifer looked around and saw that the coast was clear. He hopped over the counter to snag a quick bite to eat before the ladies came back. He got to the fridge and pulled out a few candy bars.

"Jackpot", Seifer says as he started to exit the kitchen.

"Yo, Siefer, I smell something funny, ya know", says Rajin as he sniffed the air around him. "It smells like…Atomic Hotdogs or something, ya know".

"Quit fooling around, Rajin. Now lets get outta here before we get caught", Seifer says tossing one of the bars to him."

"Aw, ya know I like my candy bars nice and soft and warm", complained

Rajin.

"Oh fine, have it your way", mumbled Seifer as he began to cast a fire spell.

"WAIT, DON'T!", yells out Fujin, but I was too late. The fire got in contact with the heated gasoline near the stove, causing a huge explosion in the cafeteria. The three were blown out into the hallway, charred, burnt, and not original, but extra crispy.

* * *

 *****Monday, 10:59 am, Headmaster Cid's Office*****

Quistis was in the Headmaster's Office when she and Cid heard the explosion from the Cafeteria. After Cid got off the phone with the Fire Department…

"Oh, yes, Quistis, I called you up to tell you some good news."

"What is it?", she asks curiously.

"I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Galbadia."

"Hardy har har", she says. What's the real news?

"Heh heh, guess my jokes are getting a little rusty. Anyway, you know about my wife's 15-year aneversiary and me? I need you, Xu, and Nida to prepare a banquet of some sort by Friday."

"But what about my morning class?"

"You can just have Miranda to take it over for you for the rest of the week."

"Oh…okay. I guess she'll be all right by herself. I will get paid during my week off, right?

Cid fixed his glasses and chuckled.

"Of course! I'll give you $1500 gil to setup our Anniversary Dinner."

"Sounds reasonable"

"Which is coming straight out of your Paycheck."

"What?!", Quistis gasped in shock. "You're not serious, are you?"

"I'm only kidding! Now go and start planning like there's no tomorrow."

"Yes sir", she says walking out.

* * *

 *****Monday, 11:15 am, Enter Squall*****

Squall entered the Headmaster's Office shortly after Quistis left. Cid was shuffling through some papers when he noticed him walking in.

"Good Morning, Leonhart. Sleeping late as usual I see", Cid says with a cheesy smile.

"Whatever. Anything to do today?", he asks the Headmaster.

"Ah, yes. Remember that I have placed fine young man Dart to work with you during missions?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, I want you to give him so basic training and feedback on the different jobs you two will be facing around the world."

"Gotcha", says Squall Rolling his eyes. "By the way, where are Rinoa, Selphie, and Irvine?

"They're at the mall right now. I believe our new Librarian Albert is with them as well."

 _ **Note: This was all that was ever written of this story.**_

* * *

 **Please review and keep watch for the final story:** **Streets of Rage Meets Golden Axe** **,** **as this collection is constantly updated until its completion!**


	6. Streets of Rage Meets Golden Axe

**Streets of Rage meets Golden Axe**

* * *

 *******At the Oriental Restaurant*******

Adam: Yo! These golden French fries are off the hook!

Blaze: Those are chopsticks.

Adam:...Well these soft drinks sure kickin, man!

Axel: That's soy sauce.

Adam: Aw shoot… I thought we were at McDonald's!

Blaze: No, you idiot. Since when are hamburgers made on woks? I told you we are at the Oriental Buffet.

Adam: I knew that…

Blaze and Axel: Riiiiight…

 _(At the same time, the three heroes from Golden Axe walk through the doors)_

Ax: Hey, this isn't Pizza Emporium!

Tyris: I told you Ax can't read worth crap *stupid Barbarian*…

Thunderhead: Who cares? I'm hungry. Lets find a seat.

(The three sit down at a table next to the Streets Of Rage guys)

Adam: Psst, hey guys, look at these three jokers who just walked in.

 _(The Golden Axe gang simply glances up at Adam for a brief sec, then continue to read their menus)_

Adam: Hey, weirdoes, the Renaissance Fair is that way!

Blaze: Uh...Adam…

Adam: (Ignoring Blaze) Hey, shorty (Thunderhead), your momma's so short, she hang-glides on a Dorito!

(Adam Busts up laughing)

 _(The G.A. guys now give Adam a look of annoyance)_

Axel: Adam, I think you should stop now…

Adam: Naw, its cool, man. Hey, listen to this. Hey, you in the underwear (Ax), forget your pants? Oh, I forgot, that hot broad has em'! (Begins laughing stupidly)

Ax: That's it, bub. No one insults my girl. Now I'm gonna beat yooz up!

 _(Ax draws his sword, charges toward Adam, but crashes into a wall)_

Tyris: I'm surrounded by idiots…

Adam: _(Laughs even harder, but then gets blasted by a huge lightning bolt casted by Thunderhead)_

Adam: Oh shoot that stings… (Falls over onto the ground with wisps of smoke coming from his charred body)

Thunderhead: Serves you right, a**hole.

 _(Everybody else continues ignores the incident as if nothing happened)_

* * *

 _(The two teams of heroes receive their food)_

Axel: Finally. Time to chow down! (Begins eating with a fork)

Blaze: Axel! You don't use a fork at an Oriental restaurant! You use chopsticks.

Adam: You mean those French fries I ate?

Blaze:…yeah…

 _(At the Golden Axe table)_

Tyris: Ax, what are you doing?

Ax: Duh…I'm usin' my sword to cut dis meat.

Adam: (From the other able) Well don't cut TOO low, cuz you'll need YOUR me-

 _(Another Lightning Bolt appears and fries Adam to a crisp again)_

Thunderhead: I love doing that.

 _(The Manager of the restaurant comes out to their tables)_

Manager: Greetings, Mortals. How is your stay at the Oriental Buffet?

Blaze: Mortals?….

Adam: The food's good, man. But I'll have to complain about these sodas you guys serve.

Manager: That's soy sauce, you burnt fool.

Adam: Yeah, whatever. Anyway, do we get a discount on the bill 'cause us three are cops!

Thunderhead: I can understand the other two, but HIM?

Adam: Don't be hatin', man. See, here's my Police I.D. I'm from the Police Department from the Big City of Rage. (Pulls out a card)

Manager: Sir, that's a membership card for a Toy Store.

Ax: Ha ha! Dat guy plays with toys!

Adam: Not the kind of Toys YOU play with your girlfrie- (Gets his yet again with another lightning bolt)

Tyris: Hey, how did he know about our relationship?

Thunderhead: …

Manager: If there is anything I could do to make your stay better, please let me know.

Adam: (Getting up even more charred) Yeah. Throw out that damn barbarian.

Axel: Uh...Adam…I think you need to shut-up before you get us kicked out of here.

Adam: Don't worry, Axel my man. I'll take care of this.

Blaze: Oh god…

Manager: I'm sorry, sir, but these customers have not violated any policies in the restaurant.

Ax: Ha ha! Can't get rid of us dat easily.

Adam: Oh yeah, rid this! (Adam picks up his hot plate full of food and tosses it at Ax. Ax uses his sword and knocks it away from him, only for it to hit the manager clear in the face)

Manager: AAHHHHH!

Blaze: Now look what you have done!

Thunderhead: Your dumbass friend started all of this! (Thunderhead fires a lightning bolt toward the SoR table. Axel picks up his metal plate to deflect the bolt, causing it to reroute and hit the manager)

Manager: GWAAAAA! GET OUT! GET THE HELL OUT!

Tyris: Great, there goes lunch….

* * *

(Both groups stand outside the restaurant they were just thrown out of)

Thunderhead: This is just great. Why did we have to go here and run into this idiot anyway?

Tyris: It was your idea to come in there in the first place.

Ax: That guy should put in da' brig.

Thunderhead: Well, it would have been fine if a certain someone didn't screw everything up.

Adam: (Walking up to Thunderhead) Look, shrimp, you didn't need to shoot lightning bolts at me.

Axel: Both of you are arguing like a married couple.

Tyris: He's right. Both of you are responsible for this mess.

Thunderhead: And just how am I responsible for this?

Blaze: Well, for one you gave into Adams rash behavior.

Thunderhead: You know what? I'm not going to let this pass that easily. I'm calling the proper authorities. Did you hear me? Proper Authorities.

Adam: Oh hell no. (Gets out handcuffs)

 _(At that exact moment, a paperboy walked up to the corner of the restaurant)_

Paperboy: Extra! Extra Read all about it! Mr. X and Death Bringer have escaped from Prison!

Everyone: What?!

 _(Axel runs up to the paper boy and grabs a paper)_

Blaze: What's it say?

Axel: Mr. X, the infamous syndicate leader of the Big City, and Death Bringer, the evil Warlord has escaped Prison and are joining forces.

Adam: What the hell? We kicked that guy's ass and locked him in maximum-security prison.

Blaze: Adam, you did take the prison key with you when you locked the cell door?

Adam: Uh…uh oh…I think I …kinda left it in his cell….hehehehe….

Thunderhead: Damn, you're even more extremely dumber then I thought! Death Bringer is a dangerous corrupt leader who tries to overrun villages and towns.

Ax: Yeah, and dat guy was really hard to defeat too.

Blaze: How hard.

Ax: Duh, well…

 _(((((Flashback in Death Bringers Castle)))))_

Tyris: Prepare to meet your doom, Death Bringer!

Death Bringer: Oh really? KA…ME…HA…ME…

Thunderhead: Oh shi…

 _(((((End of Flashback)))))_

Axel: I see. So you guys are heroes just like us.

Tyris: Yes, and if those two aren't stopped, chaos will ensue!

Adam: No kidding. That crazy sonuvaturkey commands and army of thugs and weirdos that we had to defeat ourselves.

Axel: It looks like we are going to have to team up and defeat those two criminals together.

Tyris: I agree.

Ax: I don't. I ain't never gonna work wit that…that jerk.

Adam: Nice choice of words, dumbass.

Thunderhead: (Prepares a thunderbolt)

Adam: This is going to get interesting…

 _ **Note: This was all that was ever written of this story.**_

* * *

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